Summertime is here! Although you can't see through all the clouds and rain, it's here, I promise. Today I am going to a belly dance workshop in the burbs. Should be really fun. I wish I wasn't missing the Pride parade but oh well, next year.

I think that we need to change up our routine a little this summer. Elliott says he wants to go hiking so I should jump on that and schedule some hiking. Where can one go for that around here?

I know nothing about hiking. I picture mountains and boots and packs. But I think really around here it would be more like sturdy shoes and paved nature area paths. Yawn.

Also I really want a trip that involves roller coasters. If I don't plan it, it won't happen. Not sure who will go with me... but I want to go to Cedar Point. It's on the lake! Sooo pretty.

http://rideforhumanity.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/cedarpoint_from_bay.jpg

okay. gotta go find something to do. and p.s. I'm starting Hula next Tuesday! Whoo hooo!

well hey there blog! I haven't posted in awhile. Life is so much different than even a few weeks ago. I now have an official full time position with my company. They skipped the three month (or longer) temp part and offered / nay begged me to work there as a permanent employee. With a fat raise.

Yeeeee!

I need a smart phone since I have a mind numbingly quiet work day with no internets. I would really like to take Hula now that I am making more monies.

Also, I have been wanting to say this but have no where's appropriate to post. Why are we the only ones in our circle who throw parties? Does it just seem that way? We have like, a party every month it seems. Inviting folks over to grill, play games, or what have you. What about you? Why don't you have us over to YOUR place?

jesus.

Okay rant over.

I think I was purposely not invited to a girls night tonight. I am a little hurt, but really I behaved like an idiot at the last one sooo I don't blame them. I was so ashamed once I got over myself and my own problems.

I need to just breathe and let my issues with money go sometimes. Like seriously. If I don't deem a dinner or a motorcycle part or something electronic worthy of my money? I get overly upset. What a waste I keep saying to myself. Not being able to see past the joy it might bring to my husband or the possibilities that dinner might bring to having friends and more dinners that hopefully are not gross. I can't see past the dollars draining from my bank account. I have never carried a balance on my credit card. I don't have outrageous loans on a car or from college. I need to actually begin to save money for life though and I bet I have the financial chops to do it. But stop freaking out over the occasional 70 lost at some casino in Indiana or 5o dollars lost to sushi.

I hope I didn't make too much of an ass of myself last night. But I hate fondue. No, I don't want to pay triple to cook my food myself, thanks. I'll just go home and do that for free.

What a racket those places have. Let's cut up a bunch of apples, bread, and tortillas from a bag; melt cheese right on the table, and charge the customer 25.99 per person to do all the work! Genius.

Ugh. Can you tell I'm still bitter? I need to stop brooding over last night, because all in all, I did have a little bit of fun. And I was charged with planning the next girls night in April... must think of something cheap and way more fun. Must. And no damn chain restaurants- we live in Chicago for c sake. There I go again, sorry. This was my after my guessed caloric intake for the day:

That's a pound over my starting weight. Sheesh!

ho hum

Drudgery. That's the only word I can come up with right now for my life. I feel so aimless and hopeless after all this time looking for work. Yes, I did have a mostly fabulous time in California. But the photos don't show how sick I was during the whole thing. It was one constant migraineflucoldheartburnallergyhangover. I went from pepto to beer to benadryl to more beer to tissues to spicy food to sleeping on the bathroom floor and never strayed far from a bottle of pain reliever. In fact, I used up our hosts stock of tissues and pain reliever. Sorry hosts! Thank you!

I have never had plant allergies before but out there I was miserable for the last two days of out and about in the countryside. And by countryside I mean giant hills and vineyards. Not flat cow land. It really was so so beautiful there. Our hosts (a cute couple from Macomb) both have their own motorcycles and ride every single day to work. The guy rides through Napa Valley. How cool is that? Now I have a husband who everyday is making his job here sound more gloom and doom and talking up California. I didn't think this through. I told him for the longest time that I wasn't going to move there if I'd never even visited there. Well now....

I would like living there. But my family is here. My friends are here. My life is here. You can't just give up everything and move across the country for nice weather, can you?

No, I think not. But I have no real job. And right now that fact is making me feel slightly depressed. I can't get out of bed in the mornings when I'm not trekking to my department store job. And to make matters more yucky, that department store job seems to only schedule me on the days/nights when I actually have somewhere to be. I have missed dance. And trips with friends. And Christmas. The things that still define my life without a real job. And I only work three days a week! Sheesh!

okay enough complaining. I'm going to play Sims and bury my head for awhile longer.

a new year and a new plan

good morning to you. I am back to empty days and an unpredictable work schedule. I think the only way to keep from falling into the abyss of boredom and depression is to have a plan. These are things I would like to do.

Roast more vegetables. Cooking for yourself can be messy and time consuming. Mostly I just go to toasting bread or wheat tortillas and call that a meal. But if I can make sure to pick up acorn squash, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, at the store on the weekend, it's so easy to just roast them in the oven with olive oil/salt/pepper and reheat all week for meals. Yummy and easy.

Cook more. I love learning and trying different ways to eat food. I am in no way as good as my dh but I am learning to make different dishes that are healthy and yummy. I am also proud to say that we've replaced every carb in the house with a whole wheat or healthy version. I even have taken the brown rice plunge. That was the last to go actually, cause brown rice can be gross if cooked wrong. Sticky and mushy is no good. The secret to good brown rice is lots of water and then straining it. So yes. Whole wheat breads, whole wheat tortillas, whole wheat pasta, brown rice, and bulghur. High fiber, healthy nutrients.

Stop waiting to work out. I've gotten into a mental battle with myself where I say tomorrow, tomorrow. I can't today but I will go tomorrow. I need a dedicated gym bag that I don't swap out for a dance bag or a laptop bag. Tomorrow is today. I will go to curves today.

thats all I have for now.

holiday ohh holiday, the best time of the year...

Christmas has come and gone this year without fanfare and without much joy for me and the people around me. For me, Christmas is at it's most meaningful when you add in tradition. I am always interested in friends who say, "We always go to Grandma's in Southern Illinois. We make pies and my uncle roasts a duck." I'm sitting there wondering, really? Always? Doesn't life get in the way some years? Grandma gets sick, say. Or your Uncle Carl has a new wife and goes to her house now. Or your cousin has the first grandchild and now every year is spent standing around oohhing and awwing over this alien sticking crayons in his mouth? Life goes on and you can't "always" do something. We didn't get to go to dh's side of the family for Christmas Eve like we "always" do. I had to work.

Yes folks, I worked on Christmas Eve. I helped dumb department store shoppers navigate their way to the bathrooms, or to "the place where I can take back this here giant underwear I don't want". For jebus sake people, there is a sign every few feet directing you to Customer Service. They are huge and red. They say "Holiday Return Center" with a BIG ARROW POINTING THE WAY.

And you know what? I still had a nice Christmas. My dh got a raise and a bonus. And not the jelly of the month club kind, so that is very much appreciated. He works so hard. I got to ride on a snowmobile

and attempt to go sledding on one of those old fashioned metal rail sleds. (epic and hilarious attempt.) I got a laptop and an adorable vintage dress from my hubby

that I can't wait to wear. Yes frequently my back hurts and my feet are swollen from checking people out all day. No I haven't been to Curves in weeks (that one stings a little). But it has to get better from here.

I wish everyone in my life a Happy Christmas (a la Harry Potter) and I encourage you to take stock in what you do have and appreciate it. You never know what 2011 will bring.