to do list: start living

screw this. I can't spend every minute of my life wallowing in my own pity. Although it is fun and a tiny bit comforting to feel sorry for myself, it's not helping. This blog was supposed to mark my fore into my new-awesome-amazing-train taking-restaurant eating Chicago life.

Instead I've spent the last two months eating junk food, drinking past my own nagging voice's advice, staying up way too late trying to squeeze some more life out of my days, not going to work out at Curves, waking up feeling like death, and crying daily in traffic.

I even got into a confrontation at the mall- with a 10 year old boy.

Yeeps. THIS IS GETTING almost to the point of silly. So screw it. I work at my job. It's way the hell out in the burbs. I accept that. Here is my wish list to be happy, even in present circumstances, because fuck, I CAN'T SEEM TO CHANGE ANYTHING EXCEPT MY ATTITUDE.

1. I will make the most of my limited time in Chicago. (Throw parties, attend concerts, swim in Lake Michigan at least one more time before fall!!!!)

2. I will help my dh when he cooks by cleaning up the kitchen, doing dishes, and always always offering to help with whatever. Can I make rice? Can I wash the cutting board for you? That kind of thing.

3. I will not be upset with my dh or the women at Curves or friends when they give me stupid job advice, they just want to help. (FYI, I don't want to work retail, or do freelance design, or take a part time receptionist job at your company. I work full time in design, and even though it sucks major balls, I am holding out for:
A. a full time design job in the city or
B. to be laid off at my current job before I consider those options. Which might, unfortunately, happen sooner rather than later. Can you say fore-close-r?

4. I will work out three times a week at Curves, ride our exercise bike three times a week, and lose 10 pounds before the first Christmas party.

5. I will be mindful of the food and portion sizes that I consume.

6. I will listen to books on cd from the library, they make my commute go by quickly and less stressfully.

7. I will try to do my hair, makeup, and wear cute rockabilly outfits more often. It makes me generally feel more awesome about my life. And the nice comments help. But please, when I'm in the mall having a weak moment, please do not stare. You will have your head ripped off.

love,

me

ps sorry for the swears. it's who I am. oh and 8. I will look for jobs, even though I hate it more than being stared at.

blah.

jkgfjkshfjhf. I didn't get that job. It's been two years. Two years. I've stopped caring about driving anymore. I just float home. Sometimes I pull in to a parking spot and wonder at the miracle of how I got there. The other day I had to stop and pick up groceries on my way home (because apparently my dh can't bring anything except a sandwich to work). It was a stressful commute full of people cutting me off and me really really having to pee. Two hours and I didn't stop because honestly, there are no good places to stop on my way home. I pulled into the closest and first spot I could find, loaded down with groceries. Dh came down to help me bring them in, but wouldn't stop bitching about where I had parked. The back end of the car was about two feet past the no parking sign. He really escalated the situation, telling me that I was parked in a tow zone, they would tow it immediately, and that it would cost us $600.

I just needed to be out of that damn car. I could move it after we brought in the junk and after I visited the bathroom.

We didn't speak to each other for something like three hours. That never happens.

I need a new job.

nesting with a new shelf

Things are a-brewing in my world. I might have a new job, hopefully I should hear about it today.

We were looking at moving, but that has all fallen through (good or bad, who knows). So we are staying in our lovely two bathroom, two deck, exposed brick apartment for at least another year. It has been almost two years in one spot and I like to think of it as home. Finally! :)

I love having people over to stay. I can't wait for Kati to come on Friday. DH and I both are "nesting" as you might say in this place. He wants to move around the bedroom curtain rod and do a few other things. My dream started with two glass jars. I was at the Y-Ville Community Garage sale last week and a woman was getting rid of some great primitive antique stuff. From what I overheard her saying, she was an antique dealer with way too much stuff. She had two tables full of old kitchen utensils, fabric scraps, and a white quilt with red stars that I pondered buying. But my mother-in-law makes quilts and I would not want to have one that she didn't make in the house. Scandalous. Under one of the tables was a box full of old Mason jars. I rooted out two blue ones with matching lids and noticed that the price was $1 a piece! Hells yes. I brought them home for our blue bathroom but thought they looked a little funny perched on the back of our commode. A few days later I found myself scouring the local Ace Hardware and found this glass shelf kit. It was pretty easy to put up, once DH helped me figure out how to secure the drill bit into the drill. The whole shelf kit was $13.99.

I arranged the jars with little bathroom stuff (cotton rounds and Q-tips), a few vintage postcards from Blue Orchid Studio in Y-ville (.75 each), a small tealight candle, and one of my hair flowers. I love it. Useful and pretty.





I thought the postcards went with the large map we have from dad in a sort of nonchalant vintage travel theme. What do you think?

My new blog!

Hello! This is my space to vent, create, share, and vent. Did I mention that I like to use blogging to vent? Please don't take anything I write to heart. Sometimes I just need to write it down, walk away, and forget everything I've written.

I like vintage clothes and living in the city. I will here on out refer to my husband as DH a la Indie Bride forums.